Rex's Birth Story

Here is the whole story if you are interested in reading it.  It is a bit long...but I wanted to write it down, so I would not forget.

As most of you know, I started having contractions on Friday night.  They were very painful because I had no amniotic fluid.  My doctors said there was nothing they could do unless they came closer together.  Finally the night before the c-section I couldn't stand the contractions any longer (plus I hadn't gotten any sleep for a few nights). Jon and I went to the hospital and they admitted me because progressing quite a bit.  They gave me some drugs to try and slow the contractions, but they didn't think I would make it to the morning.  By a miracle, we were able to hold them off until the morning and I was able to have my c-section at the regularly scheduled time (which was important so all the doctors would be there).  I was overjoyed by this triumph.  I just knew it was a good sign!

When Rex was removed I could see him in the anesthesiologist's goggles.  I saw his dark hair!   However, he didn't cry and I knew right away that was a bad sign. The NICU team worked on him for what seemed like an eternity!  Finally they called Jon to come over and they wheeled Rex by me. It was only for a second and I could barely see him.  I heard the nurse say "We have to go, he is very sick." 

I can barely remember the rest of the afternoon because I was SOO loopy from all the drugs. Jon is convinced the doctors really doped me up, so I would not worry about Rex. I was seriously talking nonsense!  Jon was able to visit him throughout the day, but the doctors were always working on him, so he couldn't get very close. Apparently they wheeled me up there at some point to see him, but I can't even remember.

That evening the doctor came down to tell us that Rex was not doing well at all and we should go say our good-byes.  We were able to visit with him for a few hours.  We touched him, kissed him and told him how much we loved him.  He was absolutely perfect.  We were also able to have him baptized, which makes me so happy.  It was a sad, but beautiful ceremony.

The doctors decided to try one more thing for him.  We were there for the first dose of medication and things started to improve a little.  The nurse told us to get some sleep and they would call us after they knew more after the second dose.  On the way to our room we saw the doctor and he seemed optimistic.  We went to bed so hopeful!

Then around 4:45 in the morning, the doctor called and said we needed to come up because he was not doing well at all.  We again spent time with him, touching him, telling him we loved him.  Then the nurses asked if we want to hold him - of course!  They took him off the ventilator and put him on a manual one. Both Jon and I were able to hold him, talk to him closely and kiss his sweet forehead. It was so wonderful and I am so very thankful that we got to spend that time with him.  Finally the doctor said that baby's heartrate was slowing down and if we wanted to stop the manual ventilation.  As much as I didn't want to, we did and after a few more minutes he left for heaven while still being rocked in my arms.

We had arranged for NILMDTS to come in around 7AM, so after he passed I helped the nurse bathe him and dress him (in his Super-hero onesie and Chargers MVP cap!).  It was so wonderful to finally see him without any tubes! Once he was dressed and wrapped, I held him until the photographer came. We had a wonderful photo session and I cannot wait for the pictures. After the photo session, Jon and I held him for a little bit longer until we finally said goodbye for the final time.  I miss him so much, but realize he was very sick and is now pain free in heaven.

Jon and I truly believe that Rex was Pher coming back to us.  We just cannot get over the fact that he passed EXACTLY one year after Pher.  I thought it was a miracle that Pher's angelversary of July 21 was between 37-38 weeks and when the doctors wanted to deliver me.  When we were asked our preferable c-section date we asked for July 21st, but it was full, so they gave us July 20th.  But even if we hadn't scheduled it then, Rex was ready to come on the 20th (hence the contractions!)  We truly believe he wanted to meet us and feel our love (and perhaps get a proper name)!  We also believe he wanted to give us comfort in our decision for Pher.  I now know both our sweet babies were very sick. We truly believe our little angel came back and fought hard until the end for his mommy and daddy.  What a wonderful miracle he is?  We feel so proud. Finally, I believe all the prayers and positive thoughts did not go unanswered, but just answered in a different way.  They helped us to realize how special our babies really are and to be at peace with everything.

Obviously I miss Pher and Rex so much it hurts. When the nurses told me that I could hold Rex for as long as I wanted, I asked "forever?"  If I could, I would have! My love for him is immense and I am sometimes overwhelmed by grief, but I do find comfort in thinking that Rex was Pher coming back.  I truly feel like the luckiest mommy in the whole world!

I also feel so lucky to have had all of your support through this journey.  Thank you to each and everyone of you. 

Thank you!

Thank you so much for the wonderful support you have given Jon, me and Sticky.  We feel lucky to have such amazing friends and family!

We feel very lucky to have been able to spend precious moments with our adorable son.  We were able to get him baptized on Wednesday night.  We were also able to hold him and tell him how much we love him. I was rocking him in my arms when he passed.  He went so peacefully.  After he left for heaven, I was able to help the nurse bathe him and get him dressed.  We had a photographer come from an amazing volunteer organization called Now I Lay Me Down to Sleep.  She took lots of pictures of sweet Sticky Bean, so we're looking forward to seeing those.  They are an amazing organization.  http://www.nowilaymedowntosleep.org/

We are meeting with a funeral home tomorrow to discuss our options.  I have had a number of friends ask what they can do for us.  We would love for you to keep us in  your prayers and thoughts. Also, someone at the hospital suggested that in lieu of flowers, friends and family could donate to PKD research.  There is a walk for PKD research in October and we have a team participating.  We would be honored if you would like to donate to Team Sticky Bean.  Below is our team home page, if you are interested.

http://www.pkdcure.org/stickybean

 Below are some pictures of our sweet baby boy that we snapped with our cell phones.

Mom with Baby Rex

Adorable toes

Daddy and our little fighter

The world's sweetest San Diego Chargers fan

He will live in our hearts forever...

I am incredibly sad to report that sweet baby Rex passed away in my arms around 6:15 AM.  He is absolutely perfect and I feel so lucky to be his mother.

Thank you so much for all of your support through this.

Happy Birthday Rex Christopher Symmes!!

We are so overwhelmed by all of the love being sent our way. Sadly - Sticky is very sick and he is not doing well at all. It appears that his lungs had not developed like we hoped. The doctor came by to tell us we should say our goodbyes. He is truly perfect and I love him so much. They decided to try one more thing -a surfactant. Praying he'll improve. Thank you so much for your support. We told Sticky about how so many people are pulling for him.

Thank you so much for the continued prayers!

Last day of pregnancy!

Today was our final ultrasound appointment.  Sticky passed his tests (as did I!) We wanted to end strong!  We received our orders for tomorrow's surgery. We'll be arriving at the hospital at 7:30 AM and the c-section is scheduled for 9:30 AM (if you want to send some extra prayers at that time!) 

Other than that, I'm still having contractions.  Apparently without any fluid these "early labor" contractions hurt worse than normal.  However, the doctors are not at all concerned about Sticky coming early, so we are good to go!  I have to admit that I had mixed feelings about Sticky's delivery because I feel like he is safe inside me, but with these contractions I'm more than ready, because apparently he is too! 

My friend asked me to post some pictures of Sticky's nursery, so I'm putting some below.  One picture is of Sticky's honorary "coming home" outfit.  Even though he won't be coming home right away and won't be able to wear any clothes at first we thought we could at least use the Super onesie as decoration in the NICU!  He should be able to wear a hat, so naturally the San Diego Chargers will be his first.  I like that it says MVP...because that is what he is! 

We promise to update the blog as soon as we can tomorrow. Again, thank you sooo very much for your continued support and prayers.  They mean the world to us!   Sticky is looking forward to "meeting" all of his supporters!

Bolt LOVES Sticky's room - mainly all the toys!

Sticky's first outfit. Super-hero and MVP!

Looking forward to when Sticky can sleep in his own crib

Final day!

Getting closer...

Apparently Sticky is ready to meet the world.  I have been having contractions (ouch!!) since late Friday night.  During the night they got to be only five minutes apart and were quite strong, so I called my doctor the next morning (by this time they were more like 15 minutes apart).  He told me to go to the hospital to check things (better safe than sorry!)  Luckily, I'm still in the early stages of labor, so we were able to be sent home after an hour of monitoring.  By the way, after looking at Sticky's non-stress test, the nurse said that she couldn't have asked for a "prettier output!" He's such a good boy!   

Well, it is now Sunday and I'm still having contractions, but we (fortunately) continue to be outside the 3-5 minute range. It is possible that I'll just continue on like this until Wednesday, but my mom decided to go ahead and fly down just in case Sticky wants to come early. 

I also got a very sweet surprise from Jon and Sticky - a "push" present!  It is a beautiful silver necklace with heart inside a heart.  The little heart is to represent that sweet Pher (our first baby) is a part of Sticky.  On the back Jon had Sticky's initials engraved.  It is so perfect!

So, thank you for your continued prayers and positive thoughts. We really appreciate them all SO much! 

Sweet Push Present!

Final ECHO - July 15th

Strangely, I was a little sad that this was Sticky's last ECHO (well, in utero) - I really love the cardiology group!  The sonographer said they will be checking on Sticky next week and will try to come by to see us. 

His heart is still a little enlarged, but the function is perfectly fine.  Sticky will be evaluated after birth by the pediatric cardiologist and have more ECHOs before being discharged from the hospital.  We hope that if we can get his kidney issues under control, then these heart issues will resolve themselves.

So, only one more ultrasound for Sticky before his arrival!  He'll have to start getting used to a more traditional camera. Thank you SO much for your continued support and prayers.  We feel so blessed!

Have a great weekend! 

Ultrasound - July 15th

Happy Friday!  Sticky passed all of his tests this morning.  He is such a good boy! 

I, however, did not pass my tests.  I had high blood glucose and low iron.  I guess I should lay off the cereal and eat more spinach this weekend. 

We have our final ECHO this afternoon, so I'll be updating again later. 

In the meantime, thank you for all the prayers and positive thoughts. 

Ultrasound - July 12th

Sticky passed his tests this morning!  He was practicing breathing like a champ and moved around enough.  His kidneys are now over 12 cm - wish they would stop growing!!!  His doctor predicts that he'll get his kidneys removed shortly after birth.  Eight more days before his big entrance!

Thank you for your continued prayers and positive thoughts!

Ultrasound - July 8th

Fortunately, not much to report today!  Sticky had an ultrasound and passed all of his tests.  (I also passed my tests - glucose, iron, blood pressure, etc.)  Hopefully things will continue to be uneventful.  Sticky only has three more ultrasounds and one more ECHO before he makes his grand entrance!! 

Thank you for your continued prayers and/or positive thoughts. We cannot express enough how much they mean to us.

Have a wonderful weekend!

Ultrasound - July 5th

Hi All!  Sticky had an ultrasound this morning and everything was status quo - yay!  He's such a trooper. 

I also talked to the nurse for a little while about what to expect for the c-section and after he's born.  It was nice to hear the plan. We are getting closer! Thank you for the continued prayers and/or positive thoughts. We appreciate every single one!

Sticky's bump at 35 weeks

What a big boy?!